I Adore You

I adore you. 

Even when I'm not supposed to. Even when saying that made me sound like a masochistic freak of love. I adore you even though I walk on thin ice whenever I'm with you. It's like, I'm always trying to carry my own weight so that the ice underneath me would not crack because certainly falling into you would hurt. Like the waters beneath the ice, you are cold and you drown me with that cold. Too much of you would lead to a frostbite. 

I adore you even when I should actually feel whatever's opposite of that word. I mean, jeez, you're there and then you're not and then when you've decided to come back again, you're even colds than last time. I didn't know there was such a thing as ice getting colder. 

I adore you even when I should actually be walking the other way. How do you detach yourself from something youve come to adore so much? 

Please. Leave me. Because I don't think I ever can. 

I want someone.

For a change, I want someone who loves me more than I love him. I want someone who knows that I'm not the prettiest girl nor am I anywhere near perfect, but would still not look the other way. I want someone who can live without me but of course would choose not to. I want someone who will always try to understand and will ask when he doesn't just so things are crystal clear. I want someone who's open-minded and is not afraid to venture into new things. I want someone who knows when enough is enough.

I want someone who has dreams, plans, no matter indefinite, and ambition. I want someone who is driven and passionate. I want someone who knows that work stays at the office and home time is us time. I want someone who knows that he is both my best friend and my boyfriend and will not take advantage of any knowledge he has to gain more in any of the relationships.

I want someone who loves God enough to know what love is and what it is not. I want someone who will never turn away from his faith for anything, because I never will.

I want someone who will always be willing to talk. Someone who will always want to sort things out and will not choose to sleep until things are better. I want someone who is equally good at listening, someone who I'd have meaningful and shallow conversations with. I want someone who has substance.

I want someone who can ride along with the things I want and would allow me to experience the things he wants as well. I want someone who will not be afraid to hurt me with the truth because he knows that that's better than making me feel good with a lie. I want someone who will leave me when he's unhappy instead of cheating behind my back. I won't stop you if you've already made up your mind and are totally sure it's what you want.

I want someone who loves his family enough to know that he shouldn't turn his back from them for anything. But even if this is the case, he wouldn't allow them to control him or meddle with us because if I wanted someone who was like that, I should have just been with a puppet. I want someone who has values and as much as possible wouldn't compromise them or bend them.

I know these are too much to ask but I know that it's only fair that I ask of these things because I will be everything I have said and more. I too will meet him halfway and will try to be the person he'd want so long as it is the same person I want to be for him as well. It's only right that we have standards because if fortunate enough, this will be the person we will be spending the rest of our lives with.