because you are my joy..

I've always liked children, babies especially... and I've always dreamt of having my own. One of the things I am really excited for is having children. I feel great love for my children-to-be. Even though they aren't alive yet, I already love them... and I have great plans for them as if I was the Lord. As much as I know that God has greater and better plans for them, I still want to plan for them, I still want to dream for them... because they are my own and I love them more than I love anyone else, well except of course their father to be...

I want to have 3 beautiful children... I want to have 2 boys and a girl, but of course I leave it up to God to choose my children's (i'll use gender, though the proper term is sex) genders..

I know it's weird that I'm wanting to have children... I don't want them now, but I will definitely want to have them in the future...

I love Greece and everything about it... So... I have chosen names with Greek origins, as much as possible.. :)

My first born...

If it turns out to be a boy...

Inigo Alexandre, A passionate hearted defender of men.

If it turns out to be a girl...

Kaethe Alexandra ,A pure hearted defender of men.

My second born

If it turns out to be a boy...

Jacobo Tyler, the one who sacrfices to give.

If it turns out to be a girl...

Helena Blythe Beautiful light, bringer of happiness

My third born

If it turns out to be a boy..

Claud Gabriel, a strong hero for God

If it turns out to be a girl...

Claudia Antoinette, graceful beyond praise.

Oh how beautiful persons you will be... I can't wait to hold you in my arms and see you smile...

Cepheus, Noelle

want

I’m still the person you wanted me to be.

Your: friend. best friend. secret keeper. fashion stylist. hair stylist. biggest fan. shoulder to cry on. comfort zone. safe place.

But I can’t anymore be the person you wanted.

Your: lover. co-conspirator.

I once told you that I’ll always be here until you want me to be here, and I guess now is the time that you don’t anymore. I’m glad to have shared all those time with you, but it’s finally time to move on.

to this generation

“This is our love, hearts joined as one desperate for all you are… Lord break down these walls, and see how we love.. Desperate for all you are, we chase your heart..”

Have you been desperate for God lately? Whose heart are you now after? Whose love have you sought after? Where are you, desperate people? Where is your desperation for God? Rise up! Let us not allow ourselves to be branded as the rebellious generation! Rise up, warriors! RISE UP!

plain and simple

i actually miss how you used to scold me when i had display photos that you wished was for your viewing only..

and when you argue that i shouldn’t be sitting in someone else’s passenger seat, cause the only passenger seat i belonged to was the one next to you..

i miss how we fight and make-up and become even sweeter after..

and when we don’t make up through the night, and make-up in the morning after we realized that we actually really need each other..

i miss how you said that everything was going to be okay, even when i knew that “okay” was for from happening in that particular moment..

and how your kisses calm me when i’ve already cried my hardest..

i miss how you used to barge in on me, in the morning.. without even knocking.. and would find me in my pajamas and messy hair but would still say that i’m beautiful..

and i miss how you reminded me of how beautiful i am, even when you don’t see me and when i ask why you just say “cause you are”..

my senses still feel you.. smell you.. see you.. taste you.. touch you.. hear you.. until this very day.. even though.. you’re not with me anymore..

i miss you. i hope that’s clear.

good foundations

the nice thing about having a good foundation before going into a relationship.

a guy and a girl became the best of friends and the usual cliche happens, they fall in love, with each other. Their relationship turned out stronger than the other relationships they’ve gotten into. But one day, the girl suddenly realizes something.

Girl: You know that you’re my best friend right?

Guy: Ahuh.

Girl: And i love you so much, i love you more than anyone in this world.

Guy: I love you even more.

Girl: But, i guess love and in love aren’t the same things, huh. You’re my best friend, but things have been so crazy the past weeks and now it feels like i see you no more than my best friend. But i love you, i really do.

*Guy falls silent*

Girl: I’m hurting.

Guy: Why?

Girl: Cause I’m hurting for you.

Guy: Don’t. I’m okay.

Girl: That hurt me even more.

*Both Laughs*

Guy: No. I’m not okay.

Girl: I know. I’m sorry.

*Both Smiles*

Guy: Can i wear my protective weapon now? (shades)

Girl: Yeah. it’s okay :)

*Wears shades*

Girl: I’m hungry. let’s eat.

Though things did’t really go back to normal, things were not as bad as they were supposed to be or at least how you assumed they would be. They were best of friends and they understood each other, and they knew each other well enough to know that they will soon fall in love, again.

when you still loved me

“Lam mo feeling ko ako nalang dahilan kung bakit me onting respeto pa siya sayo. Pag wala ako,feeling ko wala siyang respeto sayo. Ung “hot ka” off saakin yun and touchy niya pag wala ako. banned nadin naman siya but if he makes a way that you could hang out, no nalang please. for you. kahit di na saakin. Yaw kong ginagago ka. Im doing my everything na hindi ka gaguhin, tapos iba pa manggago sayo. sigh. i love you so much, hug”

1:23 am.

heavy eye-lids.

major back ache.

grumbling stomach.

hungry for sour belts.

and dairy queen ice cream.

wanting to finish all these work.

and go back to peaceful sleep.

goodnight, dream sweet.

see you when i wake.

i love you.

Reading between the lines

okay, i know this needs editing but bare with me. if you have anything to say about it, find a way to make it reach me.:) hee! btw, there’s a code try to crack it.:p *wink winK*

i can’t help but smile at the thought of me,

loving you for the rest of what the world has called eternity.

over and over do i press repeat in my head of

vast memories of us dancing to the silent music of empty streets.

even when i’m not with you my heart skips a beat.

you play with my hair and you give me odd stares,

okay, i’ll admit that you always stole my breath,

until you were the only air there was to breathe.

just for a moment there i thought i would lose you but

only for a while cause i saw what i knew was forever in your eyes.

static and electricity run down my spine as we walk,

hand in hand as not only our fingers but also our fate are intertwined.

until the clock’s hands turn and the time runs still

a love though imperfect is where i want to be.

kyle.sg.

trace, retrace

walk backwards on the path already taken..

smile the shots already seen..

sing the melodies passed on through time,

for nothing is ever forgotten, remembered.. without, retrace-cing..

you have every right to a star.

"The atoms in your body were once part of a star, you were born to shine”
and with that, it gives you just about the same right as anyone else to wish upon them.."

09.11.2010

"Pag mali yung timing [ng relationship] parang lahat ng bagay mali, parang lahat ng bagay komplikado."

"Love is not a feeling, it's a choice." You choose to love unconditionally even if you don't feel like loving.

Some things that people said today which have been running in my mind the whole night. These sayings are true.

From the last relationship that I've gotten out from I have learned that you cannot fight for something that is wrong to begin with. You cannot fight a battle when "death" is written all over it. you cannot fight a battle alone.

and that...

Love is not a feeling, it is a commitment. it is your commitment to your partner. you commit not only loyalty but honesty. you commit to fall in love everyday, even when you think there's no love to give, because God will always provide the love you'll need.

--When God does not answer our prayers, it only means a few things..

1. It's not the right time to grant them yet.

2. God has a better option for us.

3. Because God knows what's best for us, and He chooses to give that to us.

and of course there are other reasons as well.

Just recently--or not so recent after all-- God took away something from me. Something that was really dear to me, something that became a huge part of me. And it honestly hurt, like the heavens fell down on me. Just today, I found out the biggest thing that He gave me in replacement of the one that He took away. I told a friend, I am not ready... But I am willing... to receive it.