Here's to the new era, to new beginnings and to sweet endings!

It is with great pleasure that I type here tonight my final goodbye to year 2010.

Ohh yeah!

Here's to the heart breaks and pains that 2010 has brought me. Here's to the tears I've cried and the sleepless nights I had. Here's to the hole that was once drilled in my chest. Here's to stupid lies and stupid lame ass excuses. Here's to all the drama. Raise your hands and wave, goodbye! cause it's 2011 baby and I have no use of any of you anymore!

2010 has surely been a tough year, but it's one of the years where in I enjoyed my life most. Reconnection is the one word I can use to describe what I experienced. My reconnection with God, with my family, with my friends and most importantly, with myself. In 2010 I fell out of love, and fell in love once again. In 2010 I got my heart shattered and in that same year I got it pieced back together.

I cannot thank The Man Above for His constant protection, guidance, grace and more importantly, His love. For without all these that He has given, I would have been dead, insane, or severely depressed by now. God's stubborn love is the love that gave me and continuously gives me hope. Dad, thank you so much for being such a great dad. Disciplining me when I've done too much and too far, and loving me when I least deserve it. Thank you Lord for helping me endure this year, and for giving me the best way to en it! LOVE YOU DAD!

To my ever so patient friends who stuck by me even after all the ranting and crying and whining and talking, thank you so much. Thank you for being there in my lowest of lows, and because of all your patience, love and support, I have learned to once again be happy. Thank you for still looking at me the same, despite everything that has happened. I will forever treasure everything that we shared that year. Forever.

To you. thanks for giving me another shot to live my life in a better way!

To my church friends, thank you for the love and the support too. Though sometimes, you are the ones who make situations awkward. haha!

To Hazel my forever Term buddy and Thea my almost term buddy. Thank you! Words can never be enough, and will never be enough. This person I am now, you can actually take credit for. There will be that part of me that will always be of you. :)

To Beatrice, who stuck with me through everything, I love you so much. thank you for our revelation nights, and crazy random nights and food trips. you already know all this. But still, thank you so much!

To Martha, Audrey and Jabesse, who stayed the same even after several years. I am always here for you, and I can still be the "ate" you might be needing in the future.

To my barkada, whom I will not anymore name one by one. you the 10 of you. Thank you so much, for everything! You guys mean the world to me, really. more of us in 2011! :)

To Jica, Michelle and Roshni. to loves I never lost... Thank you so much for staying the same no matter the distance and time. thank you that we're still friends, despite everything else. :)

and to everyone else that I may have failed to acknowledge, I just wanna thank you for sticking with me through everything. it means the world to me. :)

And so with everything that has been said and mentioned, and with everything that has been withdrawn out of this chest, allow me to again greet you all a very very Happy start to the New Era! :)

A different kind of Hyper Happy! ♥

(This will be my first taglish/engelog blog. haha! bear with me. :p)

So yesterday I got invited to a friend's debut party and I was in panic cause I didn't have anything to wear because I was very unprepared. So today, I went to my cousins' house and looked for a dress to wear. I settled with the black and polka dot and red baby doll dress. I wore with it gray leggings and my grey flats, I was scared that because I was tall, the dress may be too short and I think heels would over do the look, so i settled with sort-of simplicity.

When we were about to leave the house na, I called up Audrey, and asked if she wanted me to fetch her. Sabi niya si Fred na raw ang susundo sakanya. Sabi ko ako nalang, cause my dad allowed me and kuya to bring the van. She said to call Fred, I was hesitant but of course I did want to call him. Pagtawag ko sakanya, he just said he'd wait for us so I said my "see you later". When I got off the phone, si mama was teasing me. Sabi ko "Ma, kinikilig ako!" sabi niyra rin "Alam ko!" and then I giggled. "Aheeem" sabi ni mama, I answered, "Hay Ma, hanggang crush lang naman to.." "Okay lang!" she said "Kahit mainlove ka pa!" that made me more kilig. On the way we met up at Chicken Inato, my mouth wanted to drop when I saw he was driving a white strada. I got kilig even more.

We got to the venue. Ayokong bumaba sa van noon kasi hiyang hiya ako, pero binuksan ni Aud yung door ko kaya bumaba na ako. It felt kind of awkward for me while I was looking around for familiar faces. In the car I remember praying (Lord, no complications please. let this be a good night) and until the parties ended, there were no complications. I don't know if he caught me, but i looked at him A LOT. I observed his action, listened to the things he said and for a while there I think my heart raced. I just couldn't take the smile of my face when I saw him smiling. Lahat na napansin ko, and narealize ko na gusto ko talaga siya. Buong gabi akong nakangiti na parang buang pero hindi ko talaga kasi maalis sa isipan ko yung mukha niya.

When the party was almost over I saw him and Martha by the tables trying to fix the folds of his polo. That was something I was definitely good at. I went up to them and just watched them as they tried. "Ikaw na lang kaya mag-ayos?" Marths said, then he looked at me with his smile (smiling while typing this) and reached his arm toward me. I looked at him and smiled back, then held on to his arm. I did the folds of his right arm perfectly. Nung sa kabila na medyo sumablay na, nung binobutton ko na mali na. "Ay hindi pwede to!" he said teasingly. I laughed nervously, "Teka." and fixed it. "Ang hirap kaya." he said. "lalo na pag ginawa mo magisa" i answered then smiled. Nung naayos ko na, hindi ko na mabutton kasi sobrang kinakabahan at kinikilig na ako then I kept shaking my head in frustration. Napansin niya ata na umiiling ako tapos nakita ko siya, he was mocking me. I bit my lip and tried one last time and finally the button was locked. Phew. "Thanks." Sure. Alam mo kung gusto mo araw araw ko pa itupi yung sleeves ng polo mo. kung pwede ko lang sabihin.

And so after the party, we went to scenario. at was somewhat a club, drinks and dancing as usual. He sat in our table a couple of times, he sat in front of me. Nung isang time, he went to the table and offered his drink. Ako yung una niyang inoffer! Oh my. Tapos yun wala lang ang babaw ko lang. haha! We then danced, and I swear it was so fun. We were all having fun! And I'm sure for a few seconds there we stared at each other, WHILE DANCING! oh my gosh. I could die right then and there. But i couldn't and I didn't want to, masyado pa akong masaya para mamatay nung mga oras na yun. After we danced, the live band welcomed us. He asked if we were celebrating anything so we said we were. The other vocalist invited her on stage and asked her to sing, but then asked for Rugie and I to take up her place. So we did, and on the spot we sang! ♥ that was soooo fun omg! I could hear them cheer, and I know he too was cheering even for a while :> Oh hosh! after that, went back to our tables and continued on. Nagpahingin kami sa labas ni Marths and Aud at nagkakwentuhan. ang sarap lang nung kwentuhan namin, sa likod ng pick-up niya. Ang dami lang napagkwentuhan :) When we wanted to go back in, lumabas na yung iba. Uwian na pala. Haha! blah blah forward forward, when we were about to leave he searched for me in the crowd and waved his goodbye :"> OH MY GOSH. HAAY HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD. :))

This may be shallow, but small things make me happy. :))

Cause it is the season to be jolly ♥

Christmas came and went by so quickly. Okay, I know it's still Christmas Day today but it just doesn't feel like it anymore, It's as if it's just another ordinary day. But is it? After all the gifts and moolah we got for Christmas and all the food we've munched down and all the drinks we've all drank, we seem to forget the real reason of this celebration, the birth of our Savior, the reason of our redemption and salvation. Sometimes, we even complain that we didn't get anything for Christmas, but did we even stop to think and thank Him for all that He has given us through out the year? All I am saying is that this is indeed a season for celebration, for if this day did not come, we all wouldn't be here today. :')

To the birthday boy, my first love and my faithful lover,
Thank you for yet another good year. It has not been a smooth sail all the way but You have proven time and again how You are bigger than any roaring wave and rolling thunderstorm. Thank You that you give us a reason to celebrate not only Your life but our life as well. Thank You that though I am stubborn, Your love is more stubborn. :') Thank you Lord for another year added to my crazy life. I hope and pray for a better year this year. A year full of new beginnings, love, hope and a strong faith :) I love you God!

Your dear daughter, a spoiled brat indeed,
Kylie!

numb or apathetic.

I was listening to a song that seemed perfect to what I was feeling.. six months ago.. It was entitled crash and burn, "Give me one more chance before we crash & burn.." I thought that maybe our love deserved a second chance, that it was all still worth fighting for and those thoughts broke me to pieces, brought me to tears.. Funny how today, I just couldn't bring myself to that mood.. Maybe cause I am really just numb to the pain.. or maybe I just don't care anymore.. Or maybe, pushing the limits here, maybe I have moved on..

I pray against aftershocks.. Cause this right here, is the state where I want to be.:)

"So thank you for the broken heart,
And thank you for the permanent scar..
Cause if it wasn't for you
I might forget how it feels to let go
And how it feels to get a brand new start.."

Thank You For The Broken Heart by B Hadley

Capitalization was taught in elementary.

thud thud. thud thud.
her heart beat dully.
thud.
she heard it fall to the floor.
screech. screech.
she cried as she saw it in pieces a plenty.
notice the I's are not capitalized.
she forgot what "i" was worth.
she tried to pick up the pieces,
ran to the cabinet to pick up tape.
but she couldn't.
she sat there and stared.
plop. plop. plop.
her tears fell.
she fell.

A poem I edited for someone.

Original
When I first saw you out of out of the blue
You touch my heart I felt inlove with you
And I always wanted to do
Is just stare and think of you.
This ordinary man doesn’t know what to do
For when you smile there is a feeling I can’t deny
You are my dream, my everything
just like a rose so sweet and charming.
You remain a mystery to everybody
‘Coz you keep your self away from the misery
But your a girl that I cant ignore
Seeing you is like an oxygen that keep my heart pumping
I know you want to be alone
But for me it’s not my intention
And all I have to do is express to you
This crazy feeling i had for you..

My version
When I first saw you, out of the blue
You touched my heart and I fell in love with you
And all I wanted to do
Was to stare and think of you
I am ordinary and this feeling I cannot deny
For when you smile it's gravity I defy
You are but a dream, my everything
You are as a rose so sweet and charming
It remains a mystery to everybody
how you keep yourself away from misery
You are the girl I cannot seem to ignore
With you my life is far from a bore
You are like the oxygen that keeps my heart beating,
the blood that rushes pumping adrenaline.
I know you want to be alone,
But I know it from the core that it has grown,
the intensity of these feelings for you,
know that I am crazily in love with you.

I liked my version :">

Everyone has their chance to happiness..

Hysteric [Acoustic] by theloudgirl

The last time I got my heart broken and shattered into pieces, I prayed to God that the next time I'll love again, that the next time someone comes along, I hope it's really for keeps. It's really draining to give love away to someone who might not stay, so the next time I'd love again, cliche as it sounds, I hope that he's the one.

Which is why I think no one is still coming my way yet, because God listened to my prayer and He granted it at the same time. ♥ He's saving my heart from another heart break, Love you Lord :')

Anyways, when my right time comes along, when the right person walks my way, I know it's gonna be as perfect as I have prayed it to be. which is why as of now, I will wait. I am going to wait. :)

...you suddenly complete me...

"I'm not looking for the perfect time, just the right time.." ♥

And so today, I, Kuya, Andre, Thea and Hazel went together to the UST paskuhan. We had a mission that Hazel was unaware of, the mission to make Hazel say "yes" to Noe of course. It was so funny that we were panicking 'cause we really didn't have a plan. The first attempt was epic-ly failed and so we came up with a new plan.

We had a "group" picture and we slowly exited the frame until her and him are the only ones in the frame. When they were left there smiling to the cam, we put up the sign that said "Please say yes" while Noe did his thing.

We got really confused by Hazel's reaction, she was crying and we were not sure what tears they were. So we were, okay I and Thea were tensed. After a while of confusion and tension, Noe gave a thumbs-up and we were all squealing. No okay, maybe just I and Thea. Haha.

Tonight, my baby Hazel and my chummy Noe made a commitment under a star :')

December 17, 2010. ♥ A night of love and pure bliss. :')

It's that most wonderful time of the year!♥

December 15, 2010., Our barkada's Second Christmas Party! Hurrah!

It's been more than a year and a half of friendship tested and proven by time, space and courses. It's been more than a year and a half of friendship that truly persevered, a friendship that would definitely last.

It was fun and I loved every second of it. Needless to say more. ♥ This is true bliss, the incomparable and irreplaceable memories you make with the people who make you truly happy. :)

Happy Three Friends ♥

These are the feet that brought us to places today. These are the feet that silently clamored "rest!" when they we're tired. These are the feet that made the day possible. To these feet, Thank you :* ♥

Today, December 15, 2010, Noe planned a "Binondo" day. Originally, I, Hazel, Thea, Andre and Noe himself agreed to joined this long-awaited day, but only I, Hazel and Noe ended up pushing through.

At around half past ten, we met up at the school's cybernook. We actually couldn't find each other at first, had I not walked around to look for Noe, we wouldn't have found each other.

So we had a short argument of whether to ride the jeep or the lrt, and ended up riding the jeep. It was a long ride full of stupid impatient drivers honking their horns and us three shouting at each other trying to get our messages through.

When we reached the jeepney stop, we we're still a few steps away from our "epic destination". Passed streets like Tomas Pinpin and Yuchengco, and Ongpin, and Salazar. We Passed by this one hmmm, i don't know what to call it, and it really caught my eye. We had to go back, cause I had to take a picture.



We walked, and walked, and I tell you, you would think it's unending. We were supposed to go to (insert restaurant's name here, cause I forgot haha!) but then we found out it was too far so we we settled for a different one. I also forgot what it was named but yes. We enjoyed, Beef (Noe), Seafood(Hazel) and Chicken (Me), La miens (Noodle soup). I and hazel even had black gulaman to go with the chinese treat! Only to disappoint ourselves with, CANNED black gulaman. :)) It was really good! And plenty. And heavy -_- We ended up being too full in the end and couldn't even finish our dumplings anymore. haha! )





We talked about the most random things during lunch. We talked about Kesha and Palawan and other random unserious things. We even had a good time teasing myself to the Chinese chef pulling the noodles. haha! After we ate, we continued on the unending walk. We passed by an ice cream store-ish and bought ourselves Korean ice cream! Noe had the fish ice cream while I and Hazel had the ice cream sandwiches, cookies and cream and cheesacake flavored respectively. Even though we were already full, and could barely walk normal with our tummies poppin', we still ate the ice cream in enjoyment. I wasn't able to take a picture of the ice creams anymore, my camera was in grave danger the whole time. haha! but i got a picture of the signage.


We passed by Binondo Church and I wanted to go in, but we still had ice cream sandwiches to finish so we stayed outside to chunk it down first. While we were outside, we were trying to decide on where we we're going next ust and hidalgo were on the list. So we finally, okay, I FINALLY finished my ice cream, so we went in. I insisted on lighting a candle, so we bought three pieces, lighted them up and said our own prayers or maybe even wishes. I hope that my candle works cause I had two really pretty wishes.



After we went to Binondo church, we again walked. We walked to Hidalgo, and by then I and Hazel were already panting. We saw all sorts of things, cheap things, funny things, cool things, like those vintage cameras. There were vegetables everywhere, and havianas that looked genuine. What I and Hazel fussed about were the pretty looking roses that seemed cheap to me, she says it's cheaper in Dangwa, I don't really know. Haha.

We also went to Quiapo church where we rested and took a breather for a while. I wanted to try palm reading or "hula" but then Noe said it costs a hundred bucks, so i opted not to. By that time we decided that Quiapo church was the last stop to today's adventure. So after that, Noe brought Hazel and I to the LRT station already. So that was where we all parted ways.



i really enjoyed today's joyride, foodtrip, and marathon. It was a good start to the holidays. :)



Happy Three Friends. ♥, let's do this again! :D (with D1 and D2 next time!)

By the way, today's soundtrack? Here, it's Noikee's new Kesha song. Haha!

Kesha - We R Who We R [www.RNBxBeatz.com] by Vershelz

Today was a very interesting day.

I'd say I had a pretty good time today. A first in a long time. I was able to dance again, not just choreographed but freestyle as well. The people I wanted to see and be with were there. It was a good night. :)

I finally did the closures I've been wanting to do. One with someone from the past and one with someone who had unknowingly broke my heart. They were both good, only I enjoyed the 2nd one better cause it was a talk in person. I'm glad with the way he responded, to you, kuddos for the things you said. and of course, thank you. :)

One last to go and i bet the hardest one to do. This i feel the need to pursue but I don't know if we still can, I hope it still pushes through though.

Anyways, I meant this to be short and sweet. <3

till the next entry, I love you to the stars. <3

Obliviate.

nothing more. just that. obliviate.

Small acts of kindness give me great amount of hope.

Today, while eating the Siomai I bought from my favorite Siomai stand at a nearby mall, I overheard a mother talking to her children. She was asking which of the siomai variety her kids wanted and ordered each of her 3 kids a serving. When the mother left to pay, I heard the eldest boy (around 14 or 15 years old, im guessing) ask the youngest (7 or 8) if he was dizzy. The little boy mumbled a yes and leaned against the pillar. After a while, the eldest boy lifted his younger brother and carried him. He didn't mind the weight of his brother, thinking the kid wasn't too small anymore, and just carried him around.

That act of brotherly love gave me hope :)

A new "Addiction". ♥

A new show has caught my eye, Pretty Little Liars. ♥

I am so glad there's a new show that isn't about vampires or werewolves. I love how it's a suspense thriller teen tv show that's really out of the stereotypical teen tv series'. It still showcases those teen dramas and teen issues but it's not one of those sappy exaggerated kinds.

I'm loving this character Emily. I find her so pretty, I try to do some online research on her and find out she's half Filipina. She's my next Marissa ♥

Katharsis.

It's a few days short of the new year and I am definitely looking forward to new beginnings. This year has been a crazy-emotional roller coaster ride and I think I've had about enough for this year, it's about time to step out of the roller coaster.

Gad this year was, I can't even find the right words to use to describe it. Kathartic? Probably the nearest I can derive for what I am trying to capture.

This year had it's high and lows, I'd say it was almost an equal portion of each. The first six months was at it's peak and the remaining six was the regression of it all.

I will never forget the blissful days that ran through January till April. The fun-filled and adventurous days of summer and the anxiety of it ending will forever be a part of this year's memories. I will always remember the struggles and tears of my June through August and the painfully slow recovery from the worst heartbreak during the last four months of the year.

I will not dare say that I took this year well, for I really did not. I spent most of my time crying and wondering and wallowing and being pathetic. I cried in the dark, I cried in the shower, I cried over dinner, over the phone, over chips, over ice cream, over him. I cried wherever I wanted and whenever I wanted, it was just that bad. I still break down at times, I still cry sometimes, but I can at least say it's better now. It hurts a little less than it used to, though the memories are all still clear to me. Like I always say, I do not regret anything. If there is anything I am regretful of, it's the time I missed out on my life. But all is well.

My most favorite part of this year was my birthday celebration, it's definitely the highlight of the year. Everything was just absolutely blissful. Almost everyone that I had wished to be there was there to be a part of the memory. Everything had gone according to plan, if I could just turn back the hands of time it would be to that day, that very moment where in all I could feel was happiness.

I will also not forget the numerous opportunities that God has given me this year. I will always treasure the trust and confidence He had in me to have given me such great opportunities. Lord, thank You for the times You have chosen me to have led worship. Thank You Lord that you have allowed me to pass through your sifting though weary, victorious. Thank You Lord that You never gave up on me, though stubborn Your love was more stubborn. Lord Thank You, I will forever be honored and grateful.

So yes, this was a challenging year. I didn't know what to expect at the beginning nor did I know what to expect when it ends. But like a roller coaster ride, there were those moments that were fun, adrenalin filled, exciting and enjoyable, but there were also those moments that were nauseating, hurtful, and scary. There were times that I just wanted it all to end, I just wanted the ride to stop already because I couldn't handle it anymore. But like a roller coaster ride, after all the mixed emotions and after all the fear, in the end I was able to bear everything and get down with all the pieces of me still intact. Although my legs are wobbly after the ride, I can say that I overcame it with courage and strength.

I bid farewell to the once loved year 2010, as I prepare for the incoming 2011.

2011, please be kind.

I'm almost ready. ♥

It's about time to give happiness another chance. ♥

It's been months, and there's only a few more days left of this year..

I've agreed [with myself] that I am giving myself a deadline. Not really a deadline but a mark of an end and a possibly beautiful beginning. It's about time to stop being reminiscent of the past, it's senseless and unworthy. It's time to finally move forward, not just move on but move forward.

When I think of the things that I have gone through, everything this year, nothing but mixed emotions come to me. Anger, bitterness, hatred, pain, a pinch of happiness, mostly angst if you would notice. And I have come to realize that I have devoted so much of my time and energy into being hateful and angry, which by the way are very tiring to be. It's about time to let things go, things that I wouldn't be needing the next year. It's about to get rid of the excess baggage, because excess baggages are costly. I want to bring with me only what I can and what I should for my trip to 2011, nothing more nothing less.

I'm really looking forward to a better year next year. Exciting things are coming up and can't help but smile in my eagerness and excitement as I look forward to these things. Summer 2011, the school's centennial celebration, another birthday and well, graduation. I know graduation won't be until the year after next but 2011 will be my "senior" year and it's the start of the end of another chapter in my life.

I'm really not expecting a new love next year, though it would be really lovely if something sprouts. I don't want to rush and I just want to wait, but if it does come my way I'm willing to start something. I want to be courted at least.

But yes. 2011. I'm really looking forward to more fun-filled-lesson-bearing experiences. 2011, don't let me down.

Sincerely, Me.

appreciation for poetry: Margaret Atwood (ii)

variations on the word love

This is a word we use to plug
holes with. It's the right size for those warm
blanks in speech, for those red heart-
shaped vacancies on the page that look nothing
like real hearts. Add lace
and you can sell
it. We insert it also in the one empty
space on the printed form
that comes with no instructions. There are whole
magazines with not much in them
but the word love, you can
rub it all over your body and you
can cook with it too. How do we know
it isn't what goes on at the cool
debaucheries of slugs under damp
pieces of cardboard? As for the weed-
seedlings nosing their tough snouts up
among the lettuces, they shout it.
Love! Love! sing the soldiers, raising
their glittering knives in salute.

Then there's the two
of us. This word
is far too short for us, it has only
four letters, too sparse
to fill those deep bare
vacuums between the stars
that press on us with their deafness.
It's not love we don't wish
to fall into, but that fear.
this word is not enough but it will
have to do. It's a single
vowel in this metallic
silence, a mouth that says
O again and again in wonder
and pain, a breath, a finger
grip on a cliffside. You can
hold on or let go.

appreciation for poetry: Margaret Atwood

Is/Not

Love is not a profession
genteel or otherwise

sex is not dentistry
the slick filling of aches and cavities

you are not my doctor
you are not my cure,

nobody has that
power, you are merely a fellow/traveller

Give up this medical concern,
buttoned, attentive,

permit yourself anger
and permit me mine

which needs neither
your approval nor your suprise

which does not need to be made legal
which is not against a disease

but agaist you,
which does not need to be understood

or washed or cauterized,
which needs instead

to be said and said.
Permit me the present tense.

i'm losing it...

i can't... it's the only thing i have now...

behind the masks of this deceitful lies.

Where is your voice?
Where is the light you bear?

What is the yearning of your heart?

What are the promises you hold on to?
What are the promises you now make?

When will you raise your banner?
When will you stand up for what you think is right?
When will you fight your battles?

Who are you seeking?
Who are you loving?

Who are you?

Live by the moment

time and time again, i have been trying to come up with my own version of the bucket list. there was one which never reached 50, another one which i do not remember how it ended, and one completed. But this completed one i read through again, seemed a little unrealistic. So this one, i plan to make more mature, more realistic and more do-able. so, here it goes!

1. Enter and finish Law School
2. Buy my own house
3. Put up my own business, restaurant is most preferred.
4. Buy my own car, an suv is most preferred

5. Go see Paramore live in concert
6. Watch Gary V. live in concert
7. Go see Hillsong live in concert

8. Compose a song, lyric and melody intact
9. Submit lyrics to music ministry
10. Submit lyrics to a famous singer, local or foreign

11. Learn a new sport, baseball or soccer is preferred
12. Go sky diving
13. Go wake boarding
14. Go surfing (again)
15. Go reef walking
16. Ride on a hot air balloon

17. Come along on a medical mission in the barrios
18. Go on a feeding /bathing program
19. Preach to a young crowd
20. Come along on a mission

21. Tour around the Philippines
22. Visit the OC, California
23. Go to Greece
24. Go to New York
25. Visit the Eiffel Tower

26. Get Married
27. Have three children

28. Drive a race car
29. Drive a Harley Davidson
30. Drive a 200r

32. Go Bungee Jumping
33. Go cliff diving
34. Go target shooting

35. Ride a camel
36. Ride an elephant
37. Swim with Dolphins

38. Design clothes and make them
39. Make a painting and actually sell it
40. Have a 100-paged portfolio of pictures of different sceneries

41. Experience winter

42. Learn to play the piano or the violin
43. Perform in a concert, even just a front act or perform randomly at a bar
44. Dance in a Hiphop Concert

45. Compete in a tennis tournament, again

46. Direct a short film or music video

47. Learn to prepare and cook a foreign dish
48. Learn foreign language

49. Eat Balut
50. Eat Tamilok
51. Eat Isaw

52. Pet an exotic pet, like a tarantulla or a snake
53. Pet a big dog i haven't owned
54. Hug a polar or panda bear

55. Name a star after me, officially.

56. Go backpacking
57. Visit one of the 7 wonders of the world

58. Audition for Myx Vj's
59. Appear in a commercial or music video
60. Post a home made video in Youtube

61. Write a book

62. Donate Blood

63. Meet someone famous

65. Celebrate our Golden Anniversary.

66. Get into a fist fight
67. Punch through a "break glass in case of fire" even though there's no fire

68. Start a 365 Project and actually finish it

69. Get a tat and actually get away with it

70. Throw a pair of shoes up on a tree/post

71, Trace the farthest that I can of my genealogy

72. Host a New Year Party with friends

73. Eat.Pray.Love.

74. Eat at restaurant with names A-Z.

75. Revisit the past.

76. Give a "life-saving" cpr.

simply : bliss

I am happy with how my life is going. I am living my life by the day, by the moment and not by any other pace. I try to pursue genuine happiness; happiness in simplicity. I may not be living the most desirable life, nor is my life anywhere near perfection, but my life and its imperfections are what makes everything worth while.

I am happy. I do not need to make other people feel miserable so that I would have something to compare, so that I would feel better for myself. I feel good about my life, and I don't need anyone else to judge it for me.

I find no need to vulgarly show the world my happiness nor do I find the need to shout it out to everyone I know. The world does not need to know that I am happy, it's enough that I know that I am genuinely in bliss.

My life is not always blissful, not always bright, but its always a pleasure to live.♥

i love you to the stars.

because songs speak..

You still hurt me, William Fritzsimmons

I'm not comfortable with how we never talk
And I've missed you since you went out for that walk
It's been 13 months since May
It still feels like yesterday

I was scared to fix what I had broke
It's a lonely place to live with just a ghost
There is love left in my life, I will see
But you still hurt me

I can still see all your clothes thrown on the floor
There are friends who never call me anymore
I remember throwing out all of your things
But I think I kept my ring

I'm not comfortable with how the story ends
We were lovers and now we're not even friends
You were perfect and I guess I'm just a creep
But you still hurt me

..the only weakness to a rather invulnerable heart..

I may not be Superwoman but my future man will surely be my Kryptonite... ♥

Forgive the cheesy-ness, cut me some slack, i'm in the hopeless-romantic-I'll-find-my-prince-charming-soon mood.

I'm sure you've heard of the cliche "You have all your standards but the one you'll love will always be an exemption to the rule". I believe that when s/he's the God given man or woman, s/he won't have to be an exemption to the rule because God gives us only the best. I know that God hears our prayers, I know it in my heart that He fulfills the desires of our hearts in His perfect timing. So here I am again, telling God what I want in a man. It's never wrong to have standards, only goes to show how much you regard yourself, a beautiful creation of the awesome, awesome Man above.

Physical Attributes (and everything else that would fall under this)
I'd love it for him to be/have:
* At least a FEW inches taller than I am.
* Physically fit. (Not necessarily muscular, or thin, just fit)
* Nice eyes and a nice nose. (I am not a fan of chinitos though)
* Nice teeth. (I notice mouth a lot. Lips, teeth, yes)
* Well groomed nails (finger nails AND toe nails)
* Well groomed hair (I don't mind if it's long or short)
* A good sense of fashion. (does not have to be "in-style" just "matching")
* Does not wear strong perfume. (I hate strong men perfume gad)
* Preferably moreno. (:">)

Characteristics (and yes, everything else that would fall under this)
I'd love it for him to be/have:
* A strong relationship with the Great Man above. That he loves Him more than he loves me.
* A good relationship with his parents and siblings. (Especially girl siblings)
* A good set of friends. (Yes it matters to me if his friends are a bunch of j*rks and aholes. Yes it matters who his friends are.)
* A good conversationalist. One who does not talk about himself 60-100% of the time. One who I can talk with about anything and everything under the sun.
* Level headed, period.
* Mature in all aspects (spiritual, emotional, psychological financial). (or is at least getting there, you know.)
* Goal Oriented. Has goals and plans that he'd WANT to ACHIEVE.
* Family Oriented. I'm a family person.
* Good with kids. I love kids.
* A nice speaking voice. (I can't stand guys with high pitched voice. sorry.)
* Musically inclined. (Not necessarily music as his main passion, but one of them.)
* Athletic. No not really. hmmm, sporty?
* Adventurous. Who's up for anything.
* Understanding and patient.

I want someone who can leave me but chooses to stay with me. I want someone who understands that love is not a feeling or an emotion but a choice and a commitment. I want someone who won't leave me for someone more beautiful or someone more understanding because to him I am more than enough. ♥

Stargirl.

The Script is talking to me.

Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down...

Don’t keep yourself away
Don’t live your life that way
Of course he’s gonna say anything you want
Then leave quicker than he came now you got yourself to blame
Don’t put yourself back in the fire again

It’s the same damn things you’re so quick to believe
You do it over and over again
And it’s the same mistakes that I’m watching you make
You do it over and over again

So before they bring you down
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything

Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down x4

Oh, please don’t be so naïve
Don’t wait ‘till your heart bleeds
Love wasn’t built for speed, listen to me girl
He keeps fuckin’ with your head, tryna get you into bed
And in the morning you’ll just hate yourself

It’s the same damn things you’re so quick to believe
You do it over and over again
And it’s the same mistakes that I’m watching you make
You do it over and over again

So before they bring you down
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything

Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down x4

And you give until there’s nothing to give
Until there’s nothing to give
Until there’s nothing to give x3

Before they bring you down
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for everything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything

Before they break you down, down, down
Cause girl they’ll bring you down, down, down
Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down
Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down

Hey, why write a song for me and not include my name in it? it's the only thing that's lacking in this song. gad.

This Heart of Mine can make it through..

I believe that in time my heart will heal again
and i believe that in time my heart will feel again
so i keep on holding on (yeah)
so i keep on being strong (yeah)

cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again
i know one day i'm gonna feel again
and i know although my heart hurts now
i'll find a way to get up off the ground
cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again

i believe that this heart of mine can make it through
and i believe that my heart can make it over you
so i keep on holding on (yeah)
so i keep on being strong (yeah)

cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again
i know one day i'm gonna feel again
and i know although my heart hurts now
i'll find a way to get up off the ground
cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again

and though it's hard for me to breathe
and even harder to believe
i know that one day i'm gonna find
i'm gonna be just fine

cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again
i know one day i'm gonna feel again
and i know although my heart hurts now
i'll find a way to get up off the ground
cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again

when you are high on coffee and your brain is finally working right.

This is a compilation of different messages I sent out to a friend, which I am particularly proud of. Coffee really does magic.

Part 1:
"Kanina, suddenly naisip ko siya. Naisip ko I'm in love with that man who was with me, and now that he's not, these feelings I have are just from the aftershock of everything. Sometimes I cry, but I realize that it's only because my pride was really crushed. I sometimes want him back but again realize that all I want is a boyfriend. When I think about it, I don't even think I can fit him back into my life again. It's been way too long that I've detached myself from the thought of him and well him and I.

Part 2:
I'm longing for the things we used to do, but now it doesn't really matter with who. When I see him with her I feel jealous, not because they're together but because I want what they have. Not the wrong parts of it of course, only the part of actually having someone. I'm really not affected anymore, but I think I am and therefore I am.But when I don't think about it, I'm really not. I now believe that we create our own pain and that suffering is really a choice. I wanna be hard on myself for not realizing all of these sooner, but I don't want to blame myself for being hurt with that the excuse of being a little stupid and morbid.

Part 3:
I realize that it's not true what people say, that you know it's love when your partner's happiness is more important than yours. I believe that it your happiness and theirs are equally important, maybe yours sometimes a little more. I don't think it's being selfish when you think of your happiness cause in the first place, your partner would want you happy. I realize that you should never compromise or sacrifice your happiness. A relationship should be healthy and beneficial to both parties.

Part 4:
I don't believe that couples who fight a lot are really in love. fighting is normal, but it's another thing to fight a lot. Not only is it not healthy but it hurts the both of you in the process of arguing and making up. If you're partner doesn't want to talk about the things that upset him, doubt, cause a real man faces problems and not just finishes them. And in the end, it doesn't matter who's right or wrong, what matters is that you talked about it and faced them together. I think it's really lame to break up because of issues, cause if that's the case you will never settle with one. I think it's lame to say because you're nasasakal or because you fell out of love. You don't just wake up one day and realize you've fallen out of love because love is a continuous choice and a continuous decision and it is way beyond feelings.

Part 5:
Life is crazy and shitty! and it will always be unfair but who said things worth fighting for came easy? it sucks that there's an emptiness in my heart but it's not for anyone else to fill, not for anyone else but myself and of course the great MAN above. Two people should already be complete when they enter a relationship and not find someone who would complete them.

the effect of coffee; it races your heart and it awakens your mind.

of fiction books, epiphanies and self-importance..

I recently bought a book entitled, Last Night at Chateau Marmont, which by the way I bought from my "stress buying" mood. I bought it for the 3 (very petty)reasons. One was because I was in desperate need to read a non-academic book, two was because (like I said earlier) I was stressed from a recent situation with a girl friend, and lastly because I thought I could relate to the "plot of the book". It was so inviting, the blurb, and I just wanted to read through the pages already. "...For five years, she's worked two jobs to support her husband's dream of making it to the music world... Brooke begins to question the truth about their marriage and is forced to finally come to terms wth what she thinks she wants-- and what she actually needs."

Today I finished the book and I honestly did not expect how everything turned out in the end. After reading the book, I felt so empowered not because of the book itself but because the book made me realize what I really wanted (not in the way the book wanted to). I suddenly realized that I had some thoughts on certain things and issues. I realized that I was so blinded by everything that I overlooked the more important details of situations and well certain events.

Today was a day of epiphanies and self-importance.

We sometimes think that we know what's happening, and expect the outcome, or anticipate that certain things followed. The thing is, nothing is certain, we can never be so sure. We cannot expect or anticipate or assume that this will happen or that it won't. We disappoint ourselves with our own stereotyping, with our own "but that's not supposed to happen".

I don't know If I'm still making sense but I hope I was able to convey what I was trying to say.

Anywaaaaaaaaay. Let's talk about the book. The book is written by the same author that wrote The Devil Wears Prada. Funny how I patterned Last Night at Chateau Marmont with that book. I'm glad she is not the predictable,patterned type. This book is a book of hope and I appreciate how it was written (careful and conservative). I won't say it's a feel good book, cause it will really stir up emotions like anger or spite but it's a good and easy read book. :)

Variations on the Word Sleep (Margarette Atwood)

I would like to watch you sleeping,
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head.

and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear

I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center. I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and you enter
it as easily as beathing in

I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.

e.e. cummings Poetry Festival Entry 5

if everything happens that can't be done

if everything happens that can't be done
(and anything's righter
than books
could plan)
the stupidest teacher will almost guess
(eith a run
skip
around we go yes)
there's nothing as something as one
one hasn't a why or because or although
(and buds know better
than books
don't grow)
one's anything old being everything new
(with a what
which
around we come who)
one's everanything so
so world is a leaf so tree is a bough
(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)
so here is away and so your is a my
(with a down
up
around again fly)
forever was never till now
now i love you and you love me
(and books are shutter
than books
it is at moments after i have dreamed
can be)
and deep in the high that does nothing but fall
(with a shout
each
around we go all)
there's somebody calling who's we
we're anything brighter than even the sun
(we're everything greater
than books
might mean)
we're everyanything more than believe
(with a spin
leap
alive we're alive)
we're wonderful one times one

e.e. cummings Poetry Festival Entry 4

it is at moments after i have dreamed

it is at moments after i have dreamed
of the rare entertainment of your eyes,
when (being fool to fancy) i have deemed
with your peculiar mouth my heart made wise;
at moments when the glassy darkness holds
the genuine apparition of your smile
(it was through tears always)and silence moulds
such strangeness as was mine a little while;
moments when my once more illustrious arms
are filled with fascination, when my breast
wears the intolerant brightness of your charms:
one pierced moment whiter than the rest
-turning from the tremendous lie of sleep
i watch the roses of the day grow deep.

e.e. cummings Poetry Festival Entry 3

95 poems, 92

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
nothing false and possible is love
(who's imagined,therefore is limitless)
love's to giving as to keeping's give;
as yes is to if,love is to yes
must's a schoolroom in the month of may:
life's the deathboard where all now turns when
(love's a universe beyond obey
or command,reality or un-)
proudly depths above why's first because
(faith's last doubt and humbly heights below)
kneeling,we-true lovers-pray that us
will ourselves continue to outgrow
all whose mosts if you have known and i've
only we our least begin to guess

e.e. cummings Poetry Festival Entry 2

is 5, Four, VII

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world
my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
-the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says
we are for each other: then
laugh leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph
And death i think is no parenthesis

e.e. cummings Poetry Festival Entry 1

Somewhere i have never traveled, gladly beyond

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near
your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose
or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.

it's been a while..

it never came to my mind that we would one day sit down and talk about you, and the girl that took you away from me. apparently you thought of it, cause you said you knew no one else that would understand you the way I do.

we talked as if we there was nothing that happened between us. for the first time in a long time, i was a friend to you and it didn't hurt as much as I expected it to. not that I enjoyed seeing you almost broken, talking about your problems, but it felt nice to be able to help.

i really can't explain how i'm feeling now but all I know is that i'm glad we're friends, and I'm glad that I was the first person you thought about when you needed someone to talk to.

i hope one day things make sense.

that laugh, the one i love..

Today is the 19th of October, another 19 I will not be celebrating, another 19 better left unnoticed.

I was impatiently waiting under my umbrella when I suddenly had this picture of you in my mind. I see that face of yours I can never seem to forget. I see that face when you're cracking up from something you yourself are saying. I remember how genuine that laughter was, how innocent and how happy.

We were once happy, weren't we? Or was I the only one?

I thought of you so much today, maybe even too much that it started to hurt again. I allowed a few tears to roll down my cheek in memory of you. I allowed a little hurt to squeeze my heart and a little time to reminisce.

I still think about you sometimes, and still wish that I could have you back at times.. and maybe I even allow myself to wallow in the why's sometimes.. I miss you dear..

I miss you and how you showed up when I needed you to or wanted you to.. I miss how you say my name as if it were so precious.. I miss how you gently slip your hand in mine.. I miss how you smile, and I miss how you laugh.. I miss how you told me I love you.. and I miss the person I was with you..

it's sad that I can never really tell you anymore.. I miss that laugh, the one I love..

somewhat a blessing somewhat a curse.

Thursday morning I wake up to the sound of my alarm screaming at me. With very little sleep and grogginess still kicking, I walked to my phone to snooze the alarm. It was then that I realized I was alone in the house. The night before, my mom was complaining about her head severely aching and her temperature slowly rising. She said she was going to get a check-up because she couldn't stand the pain anymore, and so she was accompanied by her friend to the hospital. When I have finally awaken and my senses have already come to me, I realized that my mom didn't come home from the hospital. My heart started to beat a little faster and my brain started to work a little more attentively. After a few minutes of thinking my phone rang and it was my mom. "Hello." was how she started the conversation as it slowly progressed to "I have Dengue.". After a few favors she asked and a few instructions she gave, she hung up. I was a little startled, what news to receive so early in the morning, when I was already very worried about the reporting I had on that same day. A few more minutes passed and I got a second call, it was my dad, he was calm but I could hear the panic and concern in his voice. He was asking how I was and if I was doing okay, I answered with a yes unsure if i was. I was still a little startled and I was starting to panic, my voice slowly crack and I could feel tears slowly rolling on my cheeks.

My mom is getting past the Dengue virus well, her fever didn't come back from the last time it did. Her temperature is stable and she is slowly regaining her strength and appetite. Although her platelets are still going down. We are hoping for faster recovery.

My older brother is in Cebu, and I was the only one who took care of Mama yesterday till lunch time today (besides the nurses and doctors and visitors of course). It isn't easy to take care of a patient especially when at a hospital. It gets really boring, then tiring then strenuous then stressful. When I get a little comfortable with my position, my mom would need something again and I'd have to get up..

(to be continued. on the way back to the hospital.)

in between paper works and wooden chairs..

Single. In a Relationship. Married. Widowed. Divorced. In an Open Relationship.

I am proud to say that I am single and I am learning to love the thought of it. I wasn't always single, a few months ago I was also in a relationship that lasted for almost two years. A relationship that made me and broke me and formed me to become the stronger lady that I am now. Whenever I think of the things I had to swallow and the days I had to go through with one eye closed, I give out a sigh of relief that those days are finally over. I am now officially embracing my being single.

Those single men and women out there who have learned to maneuver their way through singlehood would often exclaim how one is better off being single, or how great it is to be single or even how fun it is, and I wouldn't disagree with that but of course there will always be another side to the story.

It is indeed fun being single but it isn't always easy. For those who have been single since birth or at least for a very long period of time (considering his/her last relationship's seriousness), there isn't as much struggle compared to someone who has recently gotten out of a relationship.

It's really different once you've already experienced being in a relationship, when you've actually experienced how it is to be taken cared of and loved and protected. It's different when you've already experienced love as compared to someone who hasn't. Yes you're jealous of your friends who have boyfriends or girlfriends, yes you feel lonely when you look at them in pairs and you're alone, sure you long for someone who'd love you but your longing will never be the same with one who has experienced actually having that longing quenched for a while.

Is single and Is now single are 2 very different states, but once you've learned to embrace and appreciate this status things won't be the same but they won't be too different as well.

Now that I am single, there are a few things that I miss about being in a relationship and here are some of them:

1. Those "good morning, I love you" and "good night, I love you" texts. They start your day and end it right. They make you feel loved and appreciated cause you know that you're the first person that comes to their mind when they wake up in the morning and the last before they go to sleep at night.

2. Those warm hugs when you need them most, and when you don't need them but still want them.

3. Those soft kisses that reminds you of how much he adores you.

4. Those times when you sneak up a smile because of something sweet or protective that he did.

5. Those bad days that turn out to be not so bad after all because you've cried your heart out to him and he just patiently listens and tells you that everything will be alright.

Maybe now that I'm single it's not him that I miss, it's actually missing the feeling of having someone who would want to love you as much as you love him and the feeling of actually being in love. ♥

because you are my joy..

I've always liked children, babies especially... and I've always dreamt of having my own. One of the things I am really excited for is having children. I feel great love for my children-to-be. Even though they aren't alive yet, I already love them... and I have great plans for them as if I was the Lord. As much as I know that God has greater and better plans for them, I still want to plan for them, I still want to dream for them... because they are my own and I love them more than I love anyone else, well except of course their father to be...

I want to have 3 beautiful children... I want to have 2 boys and a girl, but of course I leave it up to God to choose my children's (i'll use gender, though the proper term is sex) genders..

I know it's weird that I'm wanting to have children... I don't want them now, but I will definitely want to have them in the future...

I love Greece and everything about it... So... I have chosen names with Greek origins, as much as possible.. :)

My first born...

If it turns out to be a boy...

Inigo Alexandre, A passionate hearted defender of men.

If it turns out to be a girl...

Kaethe Alexandra ,A pure hearted defender of men.

My second born

If it turns out to be a boy...

Jacobo Tyler, the one who sacrfices to give.

If it turns out to be a girl...

Helena Blythe Beautiful light, bringer of happiness

My third born

If it turns out to be a boy..

Claud Gabriel, a strong hero for God

If it turns out to be a girl...

Claudia Antoinette, graceful beyond praise.

Oh how beautiful persons you will be... I can't wait to hold you in my arms and see you smile...

Cepheus, Noelle

want

I’m still the person you wanted me to be.

Your: friend. best friend. secret keeper. fashion stylist. hair stylist. biggest fan. shoulder to cry on. comfort zone. safe place.

But I can’t anymore be the person you wanted.

Your: lover. co-conspirator.

I once told you that I’ll always be here until you want me to be here, and I guess now is the time that you don’t anymore. I’m glad to have shared all those time with you, but it’s finally time to move on.

to this generation

“This is our love, hearts joined as one desperate for all you are… Lord break down these walls, and see how we love.. Desperate for all you are, we chase your heart..”

Have you been desperate for God lately? Whose heart are you now after? Whose love have you sought after? Where are you, desperate people? Where is your desperation for God? Rise up! Let us not allow ourselves to be branded as the rebellious generation! Rise up, warriors! RISE UP!

plain and simple

i actually miss how you used to scold me when i had display photos that you wished was for your viewing only..

and when you argue that i shouldn’t be sitting in someone else’s passenger seat, cause the only passenger seat i belonged to was the one next to you..

i miss how we fight and make-up and become even sweeter after..

and when we don’t make up through the night, and make-up in the morning after we realized that we actually really need each other..

i miss how you said that everything was going to be okay, even when i knew that “okay” was for from happening in that particular moment..

and how your kisses calm me when i’ve already cried my hardest..

i miss how you used to barge in on me, in the morning.. without even knocking.. and would find me in my pajamas and messy hair but would still say that i’m beautiful..

and i miss how you reminded me of how beautiful i am, even when you don’t see me and when i ask why you just say “cause you are”..

my senses still feel you.. smell you.. see you.. taste you.. touch you.. hear you.. until this very day.. even though.. you’re not with me anymore..

i miss you. i hope that’s clear.

good foundations

the nice thing about having a good foundation before going into a relationship.

a guy and a girl became the best of friends and the usual cliche happens, they fall in love, with each other. Their relationship turned out stronger than the other relationships they’ve gotten into. But one day, the girl suddenly realizes something.

Girl: You know that you’re my best friend right?

Guy: Ahuh.

Girl: And i love you so much, i love you more than anyone in this world.

Guy: I love you even more.

Girl: But, i guess love and in love aren’t the same things, huh. You’re my best friend, but things have been so crazy the past weeks and now it feels like i see you no more than my best friend. But i love you, i really do.

*Guy falls silent*

Girl: I’m hurting.

Guy: Why?

Girl: Cause I’m hurting for you.

Guy: Don’t. I’m okay.

Girl: That hurt me even more.

*Both Laughs*

Guy: No. I’m not okay.

Girl: I know. I’m sorry.

*Both Smiles*

Guy: Can i wear my protective weapon now? (shades)

Girl: Yeah. it’s okay :)

*Wears shades*

Girl: I’m hungry. let’s eat.

Though things did’t really go back to normal, things were not as bad as they were supposed to be or at least how you assumed they would be. They were best of friends and they understood each other, and they knew each other well enough to know that they will soon fall in love, again.

when you still loved me

“Lam mo feeling ko ako nalang dahilan kung bakit me onting respeto pa siya sayo. Pag wala ako,feeling ko wala siyang respeto sayo. Ung “hot ka” off saakin yun and touchy niya pag wala ako. banned nadin naman siya but if he makes a way that you could hang out, no nalang please. for you. kahit di na saakin. Yaw kong ginagago ka. Im doing my everything na hindi ka gaguhin, tapos iba pa manggago sayo. sigh. i love you so much, hug”

1:23 am.

heavy eye-lids.

major back ache.

grumbling stomach.

hungry for sour belts.

and dairy queen ice cream.

wanting to finish all these work.

and go back to peaceful sleep.

goodnight, dream sweet.

see you when i wake.

i love you.

Reading between the lines

okay, i know this needs editing but bare with me. if you have anything to say about it, find a way to make it reach me.:) hee! btw, there’s a code try to crack it.:p *wink winK*

i can’t help but smile at the thought of me,

loving you for the rest of what the world has called eternity.

over and over do i press repeat in my head of

vast memories of us dancing to the silent music of empty streets.

even when i’m not with you my heart skips a beat.

you play with my hair and you give me odd stares,

okay, i’ll admit that you always stole my breath,

until you were the only air there was to breathe.

just for a moment there i thought i would lose you but

only for a while cause i saw what i knew was forever in your eyes.

static and electricity run down my spine as we walk,

hand in hand as not only our fingers but also our fate are intertwined.

until the clock’s hands turn and the time runs still

a love though imperfect is where i want to be.

kyle.sg.

trace, retrace

walk backwards on the path already taken..

smile the shots already seen..

sing the melodies passed on through time,

for nothing is ever forgotten, remembered.. without, retrace-cing..

you have every right to a star.

"The atoms in your body were once part of a star, you were born to shine”
and with that, it gives you just about the same right as anyone else to wish upon them.."