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I hope to live life, soul search and find bliss. I seek to get lost and be found again. and again. And to eventually fall in love.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

In the words of Stargirl..

"March 15th,

My happy wagon is down to 2 pebbles.

Love, Stargirl."

It's March 15 in a few minutes and I can honestly say, if I had a happy wagon it would be down to 2 -3 pebbles too.. There are loads of reasons to be happy, I guess I just can't fully wrap my mind around all of them as of the moment..

I've been having good events in my life recently.. One which involved losing and finding.. So I lost my iTouch.. It was a birthday gift from my dad which I just got 7 months ago.. I knew I was gonna be in big trouble if I permanently lost it.. but after 4 days, I got it back.. If that's not something to be happy about, there must be something really wrong with my emotional screw..

Secondly, I've been worried about the evaluation of my TOR for Law school.. I knew there was a grade requirement and I've had a failure recently which was why I was so anxious.. Although I know the school is eager to accept new students, I know that they won't compromise their qualifications naman.. Today, after checking my DTS# at the document tracking system, I learned that I could continue to my application.. Now all that's left to do is pass the exams.. and then, everything I've always talked about would be legit..

Being in Law school excites me.. it's big and it's something I could only imagine myself being in.. If it is for me, if I do get in, I swear I'll forget about mediocrity..

But even after these blessings.. there is still this one side of me that can't push aside the fact that I am actually, unhappy.. I don't think I'm exactly sad but I don't know if I am happy.. I guess at the end of the day, there will always be that one thing that's lacking.. there will always be that void.. that spot that has been left empty.. and it somehow sucks the life out of me.. hence causing this dilemma of happiness and sadness and everything in between..

With all that said, I am still thankful.. I am thankful that I still get a chance to live, a chance to laugh and a chance to love.. Cause that's all that matters to me anyways..

for the love of things unspoken.. and said out in the open..

Agape,

Me.




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..my name is Kelsey but I call my self, Stargirl..

♥ I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary ♥


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