About Me

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I hope to live life, soul search and find bliss. I seek to get lost and be found again. and again. And to eventually fall in love.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

in between paper works and wooden chairs..

Single. In a Relationship. Married. Widowed. Divorced. In an Open Relationship.

I am proud to say that I am single and I am learning to love the thought of it. I wasn't always single, a few months ago I was also in a relationship that lasted for almost two years. A relationship that made me and broke me and formed me to become the stronger lady that I am now. Whenever I think of the things I had to swallow and the days I had to go through with one eye closed, I give out a sigh of relief that those days are finally over. I am now officially embracing my being single.

Those single men and women out there who have learned to maneuver their way through singlehood would often exclaim how one is better off being single, or how great it is to be single or even how fun it is, and I wouldn't disagree with that but of course there will always be another side to the story.

It is indeed fun being single but it isn't always easy. For those who have been single since birth or at least for a very long period of time (considering his/her last relationship's seriousness), there isn't as much struggle compared to someone who has recently gotten out of a relationship.

It's really different once you've already experienced being in a relationship, when you've actually experienced how it is to be taken cared of and loved and protected. It's different when you've already experienced love as compared to someone who hasn't. Yes you're jealous of your friends who have boyfriends or girlfriends, yes you feel lonely when you look at them in pairs and you're alone, sure you long for someone who'd love you but your longing will never be the same with one who has experienced actually having that longing quenched for a while.

Is single and Is now single are 2 very different states, but once you've learned to embrace and appreciate this status things won't be the same but they won't be too different as well.

Now that I am single, there are a few things that I miss about being in a relationship and here are some of them:
1. Those "good morning, I love you" and "good night, I love you" texts. They start your day and end it right. They make you feel loved and appreciated cause you know that you're the first person that comes to their mind when they wake up in the morning and the last before they go to sleep at night.
2. Those warm hugs when you need them most, and when you don't need them but still want them.
3. Those soft kisses that reminds you of how much he adores you.
4. Those times when you sneak up a smile because of something sweet or protective that he did.
5. Those bad days that turn out to be not so bad after all because you've cried your heart out to him and he just patiently listens and tells you that everything will be alright.

Maybe now that I'm single it's not him that I miss, it's actually missing the feeling of having someone who would want to love you as much as you love him and the feeling of actually being in love. ♥

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..my name is Kelsey but I call my self, Stargirl..

♥ I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary ♥


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