that laugh, the one i love..

Today is the 19th of October, another 19 I will not be celebrating, another 19 better left unnoticed.

I was impatiently waiting under my umbrella when I suddenly had this picture of you in my mind. I see that face of yours I can never seem to forget. I see that face when you're cracking up from something you yourself are saying. I remember how genuine that laughter was, how innocent and how happy.

We were once happy, weren't we? Or was I the only one?

I thought of you so much today, maybe even too much that it started to hurt again. I allowed a few tears to roll down my cheek in memory of you. I allowed a little hurt to squeeze my heart and a little time to reminisce.

I still think about you sometimes, and still wish that I could have you back at times.. and maybe I even allow myself to wallow in the why's sometimes.. I miss you dear..

I miss you and how you showed up when I needed you to or wanted you to.. I miss how you say my name as if it were so precious.. I miss how you gently slip your hand in mine.. I miss how you smile, and I miss how you laugh.. I miss how you told me I love you.. and I miss the person I was with you..

it's sad that I can never really tell you anymore.. I miss that laugh, the one I love..