Here's the thing..

No matter what you do, you don't really choose the person you fall in love with it.. The choice you make is when you'd want to actually make those feelings grow.. You can call people stupid for getting themselves into situations that are too sticky but you know what? Some of them don't want to be there either.. But it already happened.. And whatever they're doing to address that sticky situation , it's what they think is best.. what THEY THINK is best..

Please don't judge your friends who fall in love and act all stupid.. They don't want to be stupid either.. But sometimes, people just really have to experience what it's like to be stupid.. To learn.. To gain experience.. And to hopefully make better choices in the future..

After all, we were all there once.. at some point in our lives, we loved the wrong persons and we've acted all stupid.. We knew that we were bound to end up heart broken but we continued on with the battle anyway.. In the end, if we didn't get the results that we wanted, at least we could say that we did something.. Like one of my favorite sayings says.. "It is better to have love and to have lost than to have never loved at all.."

Had you not been "stupid in love", you wouldn't know the things that you are telling your friends now.. Back then, you were also clueless, you were also learning the rules of the game.. Admit it, you've made your violations too.. You were once ignorant too.. So please.. don't be an ass wipe and be all judgmental about your friends' choices..

If  they ask for your opinion, give them out with all generosity and rebuke them with love.. But if they don't, it's most probably because they don't want it.. Don't give them unsolicited advice because most often than not when they run to you, it's because they just want a listening ear.. They just want to withdraw emotions.. I'm not saying that you tolerate the decisions of your friends.. Of course it's also in your job description to bonk your friends in the head when they're already going too far.. What I'm really trying to say is that, be there.. Be the support system that s/he needs.. Your advice and suggestions can only do so much because in the end, it's still their call.. it's still their decision and it's still their responsibility..

Listen to them.. Ask them questions.. Make them feel that they're in a safe place.. Make them know that with you it's okay to be vulnerable.. that it's okay to cry.. Make it apparent that you are listening to them and not just hearing what they're saying.. Ask them follow up questions because sometimes, they too do not know how they're feeling about the situation.. if they ask you what you think, tell them bluntly but don't be tactless.. Make sure that your statements are not judgmental, otherwise they won't feel comfortable anymore.. Give them rebukes but affirm them too.. Make sure that at the of the conversation, even if the problem is still there, that s/he is encouraged.. that s/he is not stupid but of course, s/he has to make the right choices..

They say a problem shared is 50% solved.. Let you be that 50%.. :)

Love is never an easy game to play.. there are no rule books or guidelines.. So be kind.. because if you were in the same situation, you know that you'd want to be treated fairly and listened to, too.. :)

Because, some thoughts aren't so random..

Love,
Starfire