Massive Black Hole

Okay, so maybe it's not as massive..
But it still has a bearing on how I'm feeling.. As if it was a massive black hole..

I randomly decided to fix-up my corners of the room, yesterday.. And as usual, not only did I refold my clothes and rehang them in the closet, I also had to throw the junk I had on my tabletop.. But out of habit, I'd also go through my "memory" container, where I had letters from way back grade school days and pictures of many things.. And many people.. And so I got sentimental and nostalgic, for the nth time.. about the same old things.. that never change..

But yesterday, it wasn't the memorabilia that got me a tad sentimental.. It was a set of folders, a booklet and a little notebook.. To an outsider, it would be meaningless, another pile of random, now useless, junk.. But to me, it meant the world.. It was a reminder of the day I met you.. And honestly? I still remember every moment of it, as if it were just yesterday..

Yeap, that's me.. "Queen of attention to details.."..

And now.. All these things that remind me of you.. Remind me of...

This hole I have in my heart.. A little space left empty.. It's where you used to be.. Every time something reminds me of you, I feel that emptiness.. A get a tug at my heart strings.. And then, I miss you.. In a sad kind of way, cause I'm reminded of the decision I already made.. and the decision to actually honor it.. *Sigh*

I've faith in people.. and I want to believe that they are innately good..

And if destiny and chance gives me another chance, I'd still want to try to make it happen.. And see how far it can possibly go.. and ask you things.. and tell you the things I've rehearsed in my head, gazillion times..

But as of now, this is us.. Well, the absence of us, rather..

Wherever you are.. I hope you're doing okay.. And I'm hoping you're thinking of the last conversation we had too.. And I hope one day, I'll get an answer..


(Because her intro is just so appropriate. Relevant. True Story.)