Why it's a bad idea to love someone who can't love you back

Please note the choice of negation in the above written title.

I did not use "doesn't" because I believe that feelings change. He doesn't love you but he may realize that he does. In this case, there is no impediment to love you. He just doesn't... Yet.

I did not use "won't" because I think won't implies that he chooses not to. He won't love you because he thinks you're too complicated or he feels strongly that you are only a friend.. In this case, there is nothing else to do but move on.. Just move on..

I use/d can't because I interpret it in two ways.. He can't love you because of an outside factor.. He obviously chose his career before you.. His family is depending on him.. He's too busy with work.. His parents disapprove and well you're screwed because his parents' opinions matters to him so much.. You get it.. Second, he can't love you because of an internal factor.. He's gay.. Or he's in love with someone else.. Or he's too scared to stand up for you.. Or he's in a relationship.. Or he's married..

Ladies, even if he does love you.. Gentlemen, even if she does you.. For the above stated can't reason, they just can't.. Especially the last reason.

It's a bad idea to love someone who can't love you back because you will just end up inflicting unnecessary pain upon yourself.. You will try to bear with little to no attention at all.. You will daydream about the very slim chances of you being together.. You will try to rationalize things even if there is nothing to rationalize.. You will try to talk yourself into believing that one day they will break up and when they do, they'll realize that they're madly in love with you..

I'm sorry to burst your bubble but.. It doesn't mean that when they break up, it's you he'd fall for next.. Sure you're friends and sure you had those moments that to you were seemingly romantic.. But there are no assurances..

I know you don't choose who you fall for.. But you can choose who to not fall for.. If you know there's a possibility that you'd like that person who can't love you, don't hang out too much.. Don't talk too much.. Don't think about the possibility of a you two as a couple too much.. Don't allow yourself to be in a vulnerable position.. You're smarter than that..

When you feel like entertaining the thought of courting or being courted already, surround yourself with people who don't have extra baggage.. Hang out with those who are single.. Who your gender is their preference.. Who are willing to remain faithful.. Who are willing to commit to you and only you..

You know you deserve to be loved back.. You know you deserve to be loved.. And one day, with right choices, someone who does, can and will, will love you :)

Ky