Casual conversations with your past lover

I think the very word that would define my relationship with this certain someone is "Casual". We started out casually, agreed to be casual, had casual conversations as if they were a part of everyday teenagers' conversations, had an almost-casual break up, and now.. We ended up almost strangers, casually talking and walking by each other in halls and streets that used to be a part of who we were.. As casual lovers..

A few days ago, it felt right to send him a message which contained an apology and a request to just leave everything behind.. And so I did.. I sent the message and just like old times, we casually agreed upon leaving everything behind.. And we accepted each others' apology.. Just like that, because everything now feels so long ago and it would be awkward to act as if we were still affected by things that have happened between us.. And the other involved party.. I finally got the closure I wanted.. And it set me free.. It takes two courageous spirits to end what they started, with finality.. And I take pride in the fact that we were both humble enough to acknowledge our wrongs and ask for each others' forgiveness.. I guess we all have to grow up one day..

Yesterday, I finally had the time to attend youth church.. Youth church was where everything started and ended.. And started again.. Yesterday, fate played another game with us.. He brought us two together.. At first it felt iffy but as moments passed, it started to feel okay.. We were sitting on a couch, beside each other.. Talking about life and love.. And everything in else in between.. He brought up a part of the past, which I wish he didn't, like it was nothing.. And I couldn't help but just laugh in my head.. "I thought we already agreed on forgetting and leaving everything in the past.." I guess we can never be just friends.. Which is why it's really best that we don't be friends.. Just not yet.. When I was getting too into the moment, I felt that it was time to go.. I don't need anything to be stirred up again and I don't need anything to hold on to anymore.. It's lovely to look back at the good times but it's precisely those good times which make me want to already move forward..

These are moments I live for.. Moments of epiphanies and realizations.. Moments of finally letting go and learning that goodbye isn't always a bad thing.. These moments are what Nicholas sparks said to e moments of impacts.. Moments that change us.. Moments that stretch us.. Moments that allow us to grow.. And these moments of impacts are what makes us to be the persons we are destined to be.

Life is awesome :)

Ky