Random Thoughts of a Sleep Deprived Mind

I read some of Margaret Atwood's literary works tonight and may I say, Variation on the Word Sleep is still my favorite. I learned about the poem through one of my very unconventional professors in college who seemed to have the last lines of the poem memorized by heart.

"I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary."

how beautiful is that?

I'd like to believe that even the most secure people lay at night thinking and hoping that somewhere out there, someone actually needs them. I'd like to think that it is in human nature to want to be wanted and to be needed, but why? Is it another selfish and self absorbed thing? To want to be a necessity to someone? To want to be like the air others breathe, though unseen and though most of the time unappreciated, would always be necessary?

I always tell my friends that I'll stick around as long as I know I'm needed.. Why do I say this? I say this because I don't want to be a toy collecting dust at the shelf, without function. I don't want to take the space of other people who might be better fitting of that spot in your life. Remember Toy Story 3? When Andy was all grown up and was moving to college? Though he love his toys, he didn't need them anymore.. He let them go though he did not want to just because he knew that it would be better that the toys were played with by other children who needed them, rather than he keeping them but just storing them away in the attic..

I guess sometimes we have to distinguish what we want and what we need. And decide thereon which of them are the ones that really mean something.

I want to be like the air that inhabits you for a moment only..

I want to be in your life, even if for moments only.. I want to be the person you think of running to when the world is eating you alive.. I want to be the person you think of calling to share the good news.. I want to be the person you randomly think of when you come across something that you know I'd like.. Or wear.. Or say..

I would like to be that unnoticed..

Though we don't always talk and most of the time were in the background of each others' lives, I still want to be there..

And that necessary..

Because you still need me there..

--

Like that ancient teddy bear of yours.. Or that first ever journal you kept.. Or that shirt that will never fit you again but keep in the closet anyways..

Like that smile you wear even on the worst of days..

Ky.