(warning this may be a long one.)
Today was a pretty long day and honestly I couldn't wait until it was over but I guess it won't be until I get to finish that last digest I have which I put off too long already. I started reading this book with the same title as this blog which was refereed to me by a friend. It was 1:00 in the wee hours and I had nothing better to do.. No, actually I had a lot of better things to do but I didn't feel like doing them. I read page per page and I didn't want to stop until I realized it was already 2:30 in the morning and I have already read about 6 chapters. I had to go to sleep as I had to wake up at 7:30 in the morning for a 9:40 class.. And so I woke up and did my morning routine, except I skipped putting on eye-make up, I said I'd do it in the car. When I finally reached school, I realized that I have forgotten to bring the make-up kit which carried my eye-make up. I guess we were skipping I make up today. I guess, it was 'prophetic'.
I continued on reading the books throughout the day, during breaks and in-between's, and well the last class we had for the day. I cried but not as hard as I did when I read Dear John. I guess I was not in the place to wail and my body new that tears were enough to express the pain I felt for Hazel Grace (spoiler alert) at the loss of her great love. I finished it at a total of 6 hours and those were the best 6 hours of my day. I don't regret indulging in the book though I knew there again other better things to do.
I didn't have to read the book in order to realize that I need to be more thankful and appreciative of the things I have in my life but of course it helped. I actually want to learn to be more grateful about things, great or small because all these things have worked so well together that it actually continues to give meaning to my existence and to beautify life. Like for example, I want to learn to be more appreciative of the sun and how it brightens up the world everyday. That it never ceases to bring that ray of sunshine we all want and need somehow.
Today, I talked about him again with a couple of friends and I truly don't know what it is about him that makes him so appealing to me. And even though it seems like he hath forgotten my existence, I still hope to see him sometimes. Like this afternoon, and right before I left school. I was hoping I'd see him but I didn't. And just when I thought the world was yet again conspiring against me, I saw his car made that u-turn where he usually does and I smiled. I guess though the world is not a wishing factory which grants are wishes, it isn't the antagonist either.
It's my birthday in a couple of days and I still don't know what to do but what I do know is that I want a lot of hugs during my birthday and that I want to be with the people I love. I guess I'm sentimental like that.
Anyway, I wrote a long reply to Herber (my online friend from Texas, who's hispanic and is incidently cute too!) and i don't know what has gotten into me today that made me send all these long messages to random people about how I'm both happy and sad about recent events. I think I'm bi-polar like that. But I'm glad that God and life actually surrounded me with patient people and that they are always able to put up with my sentimentality and weirdness.
Yeah, I guess I just really needed to blabber about insignificant things.
See you around, stranger.
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